


Frozen Rain

by NanoNaga



Category: JBJ (Band), Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Assisted Suicide, Blood, Deathfic, Knives, M/M, Murder, Murder-Suicide, Psychological Thriller, hodtaeh have a fucked up relationship and are unhealthily obsessed with each other, the dark fic that no one asked for but it's here anyways, you wanted a happy fic? haha not today!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 03:26:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15428007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanoNaga/pseuds/NanoNaga
Summary: The prospect of being apart from Taehyun is simply unimaginable to Donghan, and he'll follow his leader wherever he goes no matter what.





	Frozen Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the warnings in the tags, it's there for a reason. If any of them bother you please be wary or leave the page. I've warned you.
> 
> Do people uh... like these sort of fics? Cos the sick part of me does. But there ain't many JBJ fics like this so here I am... creating my own content again... different from my other fics ain't it not huh. This fic serves no purpose or meaning other than letting me be a piece of shit
> 
> Fic inspired by the song [Frozen Rain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3EXAIzagnc) by MYTH & ROID. 
> 
> Tell me how much of a piece of shit I am for writing this on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/hyonipoison) :")

Stepping a foot into the dorm, the first thing he noticed was how quiet everything was.

The next thing he realized was how the entire house reeks the stench of blood.

Alarm courses through Donghan’s body at the eerie silence of the place. Even at this time of the night, the dorm would usually be filled with the chattering of his members. Now, not even a sound is to be heard, only a faint buzz of the surroundings ringing in his ears. This isn’t even taking into consideration the potent smell of iron that fills his nose and sizes him up. A million thoughts race through his mind; _what on earth happened why is there this smell of blood is Taehyun alright is everyone alright should I get help what do I do what do I do what do I do._

At first glance from where he stands in the entryway, the entire house is dark, save from the living room that is barely illuminated by the feeble light directly above him.

Donghan has no idea what he’s supposed to do, feet rooted heavy on the floor. He doesn’t want to take a step forward to face whatever had happened, but he couldn’t possibly back away from finding out what is causing that _smell_ that is igniting primal fear into him, couldn’t possibly leave Taehyun alone if he’s somewhere in there.

He considers calling the police, grabbing his phone from his pocket and holding it in jittery hands. Typing in the passcode to his phone shakily, he mistypes and fails a couple of times before successfully unlocking it. The phone application is opened, and he desperately tries to recall the police hotline number amidst his rising panic.

“Donghan, you’re finally home.”

Donghan’s head snaps up at the soft voice. Immediately, his shoulders lose their tight tension at the very sight of Taehyun standing in front of him. He takes quick glance over Taehyun. The shorter male seems fine, maybe a little tired from the way his eyes are drooping slightly as he looks up at Donghan, a small comforting smile on his face as he welcomes Donghan home. Donghan lets out a small sigh of relief. Taehyun is okay. Taehyun is safe. That means everything is fine. Briefly, he wonders how Taehyun managed to sneak up on him without even making a sound in the still silence.

The smell of blood is still pungent in the air.

He grits his teeth. “Hyung? Is everything fine? Why is–“

“Everything is fine Donghan. You’re late though,” Taehyun cuts in. “Everyone is waiting for you.”

 _‘Everyone’?_ That means that the other members are fine too, does it not?

“Where are the others? Are they fine?” Donghan asks, voice less strained than before.

“They’re fine,” Taehyun hums in acknowledgement.

 

Donghan believes him. His leader never lies.

 

“Won’t you come in and lock the door? It’s late and we don’t want anyone disturbing us.”

Taehyun tilts his head a little and looks at him expectantly. Donghan can’t help but to follow. But before that he turns around, pushing the front door shut and locking it, not forgetting to slide the two latches shut to raise the security. He faces Taehyun again, who now holds a hand out in front of him, beckoning Donghan to come. Donghan complies, he always does, getting out of his shoes and socks, stepping forward and reaching out to Taehyun’s hand to hold it. The feeling of Taehyun’s warm skin against his comforts him. As if sensing the residual inner turmoil, Taehyun kindly squeezes Donghan’s hand reassuringly, and that certainly helped Donghan regain some calmness to ease his worry. Taehyun comes closer and stands on his tiptoes to plant a tender kiss on Donghan’s lips, and _that_ causes whatever remaining doubt and fear to flow right out of his body. His leader is here with him. Everything will be fine.

Disappointingly, Taehyun pulls back, but that serene smile of his that always soothes Donghan’s stormy heart is on his face so that is a compromise he can accept. Taehyun doesn’t say a word but starts moving towards their shared room, pulling Donghan behind him. Donghan follows his leader through the hallway, barely able to see what is in front of him in the dim light, but with no hesitation in his steps even as his bare feet step into a cold, dark liquid that spreads out from the gap under the door.

Taehyun turns the doorknob and pushes the door open, the hinges creaking ominously. He pulls Donghan in, shutting the door behind them and enclosing the two of them in the almost pitch-blackness, with only moonlight that weakly penetrates the thick curtains that cover the windows. Donghan notes the faint clicking sound of the door being locked, and that the smell of blood that he had subconsciously pushed to the back of his mind is stronger here. He feels the tendrils of dread beginning to break through his mental barrier again, creeping over his skin, but he feels Taehyun in front of him wrapping his arms around his waist and embracing him, driving away the resurging fear like an angelic light banishing away the hellish darkness. Donghan returns the hug, burying his face in Taehyun’s hair, the distinct smell of Taehyun himself effortlessly pushing aside the heavy stench of blood in the room from his thoughts.

“Donghan, do you know that I love you?” Taehyun speaks, slightly muffled from having his face in Donghan’s chest, but Donghan is able to understand it anyways. He always understands Taehyun.

“Yes, I know.”

“Do you know that I love the others too?”

“Yes, I know hyung.” A short pause. “But you love me the most don’t you?”

Taehyun pulls back a little. Donghan’s eyes are starting to adjust to the darkness of the room, and he can faintly see the outline of Taehyun’s head facing up at his own face. He thinks that he’s imagining, however, when he sees two fleeting shimmers where Taehyun’s eyes would be.

“I love you the most Donghan. More than anything. And I love you forever.”

Donghan can’t help but smile at that. He can never stop the flush of pride and joy that sends his every single nerve tingling whenever he hears Taehyun say that. He almost feels that he’s unworthy of his leader’s unadulterated love, but Taehyun has proved to him time and time again that his feelings for Donghan are genuine, absolute. Not that Donghan ever doubted him in the first place.

His leader never lies.

“Will you love me forever too?” Taehyun asks. His fingers fiddle with the hem at the bottom of Donghan’s shirt, hands moving up underneath the shirt to let his fingers run lightly against Donghan’s skin, nails teasingly scratching him.

He doesn’t even take a second to think. “Of course. I’ll love you forever. Even if you stop loving me, loving us, we’ll never let you go.” Donghan runs a hand through the fine strands of hair at the bottom of Taehyun’s head, gripping it tight and forcing Taehyun’s head to tilt up further and leans over to steal another kiss, one more intense than the short one previously.

Donghan immediately shoves a tongue in the elder’s mouth, breaking through the barrier of Taehyun’s lips and met little to no resistance, Taehyun wholeheartedly giving access to his beloved as he always does.

Taehyun grips at Donghan’s waist tight, stepping backwards, and Donghan chases after, like a hunter hungry for his prey. The back of Taehyun’s knees hits the edge of Donghan’s bed, tripping over and falling on his back onto the lower end of the bed with a quiet thud, the firm mattress cushioning the impact. Donghan wastes no time and leans over Taehyun’s vulnerable frame predatorily, resting his knees on the bed frame between Taehyun’s spread thighs and planting his hands beside Taehyun’s head. Taehyun barely had time to speak, “don’t be too noisy, the others are sleeping here,” before Donghan dives back in to seal Taehyun’s mouth with his once again.

Lifting his legs, Taehyun wraps them around Donghan’s waist to pull the latter closer to him. Rough hands snake under Taehyun’s shirt, dancing fervently over his skin, touching everywhere. Taehyun squirms underneath Donghan, high-pitched whines vibrating in his throat at the younger’s ministrations. He gasps when thick fingers pinch his sensitive nipples, and Donghan snakes his tongue in, the appendage exploring the insides of Taehyun’s mouth.

Taehyun kisses back with as much enthusiasm, sucking on Donghan’s tongue before entwining their tongues together. Donghan savours how sweet Taehyun tastes like this, a flavour that satiates every human and carnal desire that he has in him. He could never ask for anyone else, not when Taehyun is absolutely _perfect_ . Donghan reveres the man more than anything from the first time he laid eyes on him, and actually having him in his arms, all _his_ , is absolutely maddening.

After what seemed like an eternity, the two finally parted, gasping from the high that they have reached together. The legs around his waist release him and Donghan drops on his knees on the floor, letting his head rest on one of Taehyun’s thighs. His fingers rubbing circles against Taehyun’s legs through the fabric of his pants. Despite having limited vision, Donghan can imagine Taehyun’s face in his mind’s eye. The faint blush that dusts his cheeks, the lidded eyes hazy from lust, the pink lips raw and plush; he has seen this countless of times before.

The darkness only serves to heighten his other senses. The heavy sound of Taehyun’s breathing as he catches his breath, the beating of his heart under Donghan’s hand quick from the rush of adrenaline, the lingering smell of _Taehyun_ with a strong undercurrent of blood.

Taehyun shifts a little and Donghan lets go off his legs and straightens his back. Taehyun scoots backwards on the bed, away from Donghan, the bedsheets under him rustling under him. Now that his eyes have adapted better to lack of light, Donghan can vaguely see the outline of another human body behind Taehyun.

“Donghan, could you kindly switch on the light?”

Obediently, Donghan heads carefully towards the room door, finding the light switch on the wall with barely any fumbling and flicking it on.

The light that suddenly brightens the room was almost overbearing after the time he has spent in the darkness. Donghan squints, allowing his eyes to adjust to the brightness of the room. He blinks.

 

He sees red.

 

Literally. The light brown wooden floor which was usually clean from any mess, due to the roommates’ diligence in tidying their room, is now stained a deep mahogany from the dark crimson liquid that pools on it. Bloody footsteps imprint the floors, marking where Taehyun had walked.

His eyes first land on Taehyun’s bed, and he makes out four figures that were huddled amd squished close to each other on the bed despite how small it is. The bed sheets that he so clearly remembered were white yesterday are now a brilliant shade of scarlet, shades deeper than Taehyun’s hair.

Hyunbin is propped up against the headboard, his large frame looming over Kenta who is laying down, head in Hyunbin’s lap. Kenta’s arm is outstretched, as if reaching out towards Sanggyun’s hand. Sanggyun himself is laying on his back perpendicular to the bed, his other arm resting across his chest, legs hanging off the side. Yongguk was curled up in a foetal position at the foot of the bed, back against Sanggyun’s side. The members all had their eyes closed, looking as if they were peacefully asleep and Donghan reminisces the times where all the members would crash into a room and sleep together despite how crowded the room would be, laying inflatable mattresses on the floor and maybe having to people squeeze on a bed, gaining strength and comfort from one another after a long day. The only difference this time being that everyone’s clothes were strangely soaked in red.

He hears a soft sigh, and Donghan’s vision snaps to Taehyun who was in his bed, the bed sheets patterned similarly with Taehyun’s, red pools against white. Taehyun was resting in someone’s embrace, sitting on their crossed legs, head lying against the crook of their neck.

 

 _Taedong_.

 

Taedong was propped up against the headboard much like Hyunbin, his arms around Taehyun’s waist, with Taehyun’s own hands over Taedong’s intertwining their fingers together. Both of their hands and Taedong’s shirt were painted in red.

“Taedongie…” Donghan says in a hushed tone, in disbelief that said person was actually here, having not seen him in person in such a long time.

“He’ll always be a part of us. Forever and always.”

A glint of light reflecting off the edge of a knife, blade covered in red, beside Taehyun now catches Donghan’s attention.

He’s acutely aware that everyone bar him and Taehyun are highly likely no longer alive, and that Taehyun was probably the one who took their lives for himself.

 

But his leader said that everything is fine. Therefore, everything _is_ fine.

 

“Donghan, could you come here?”

Without missing a beat, Donghan hastens to climb onto his bed as well, hands gripping on the moist, yet warmer than expected, bedsheets to position himself to sit on his knees in front of Taehyun and Taedong’s still form. He sucks in a quick breath when Taehyun delicately picks up the knife, thin fingers holding the sides of the blade. He raises it and points the handle towards Donghan, a silent order.

Donghan complies, and grips the handle of the knife, albeit shakily. Two hands clasp around his, the warm touch calming him down greatly and he grips more firmly.

“Donghan, will you do this for me?” Taehyun asks, pulling Donghan’s hand towards him, pointing the knife’s edge at himself, stopping when the tip presses hauntingly against his abdomen. “Please?”

“H-hyung…” Donghan stammers, knowing exactly what it is that Taehyun wants for him.

 

But he’ll do anything that his leader asks of him.

 

“Would you like me to hug you?” Taehyun offers. Donghan nods.

Donghan holds the knife aside, and Taehyun pushes himself out of Taedong’s lap, the latter’s hands falling lightly to the mattress. Slinging his arms around Donghan’s neck, Taehyun hears Donghan hum thankfully as the elder hugs him tight, alluding him as a pillar of support. Donghan wraps an arm around Taehyun’s waist, fingers and palm splayed on his back. The hand so carefully holding the knife presses the tip so precariously against Taehyun’s abdomen once more.

“Make it quick Donghan,” Taehyun whispers in his ear. “Like how I did it for the others.”

 

Inhale. Exhale. Without a doubt in his heart and mind, Donghan thrusts the knife into Taehyun’s stomach, the blade so easily tearing into whatever is in its way like slicing through melted butter.

 

A pained hiss slips through Taehyun’s lips beside Donghan’s ear. The hiss morphs into choked sobs when the knife impales him all the way through, and the arms around Donghan’s neck squeeze tighter. Donghan doesn’t move though, hand steadier than ever before holding the knife in Taehyun, not wanting Taehyun to hurt any more than he already is, waiting for his next orders.

Taehyun regulates his breathing to ease the fiery throbbing in his gut. “Pull the knife out slowly,” he says, voice faint but unfaltering.

Donghan does what he’s told, cautiously pulling back the knife out of Taehyun. He’s rewarded by Taehyun biting into his shoulder, muffling the pained whines that vibrate in his throat. Donghan feels something warm and wet dripping on his skin, and he realizes that Taehyun is crying, tears dripping down his precious cheeks. Donghan rubs Taehyun’s back reassuringly.

“Shhh hyung it’ll be over soon…”

The knife successfully gets dislodged from Taehyun’s abdomen, now bleeding profusely, red splotches blossoming through his shirt. Taehyun slumps against Donghan, and Donghan lets go of the knife in favour of supporting Taehyun. Out of sheer curiosity, Donghan places a hand over the wound, feeling the sensation of warm blood sticking to his fingers and palm. Taehyun places his hands over Donghan’s, the blood gushing out seeps through Donghan’s fingers to paint Taehyun’s too.

 

The consequences of Donghan’s actions hit him hard.

 

Sudden hysteria taking over his mind, his voice breaks, “don’t leave me please, don’t leave me _Taehyunnie hyung_ –“

“I’m not leaving you Donghan,” Taehyun states, halting Donghan and his burning train of thoughts. He cups Donghan’s face in his bloody hands, smearing blood on Donghan’s cheeks, firmly looking at Donghan’s desperate eyes. “We could never be apart.”

Taehyun slowly inches his hand towards the same knife, covered in the blood of the members’ with the new addition of Taehyun’s.

“Will you follow me Donghan? Follow us?”

A frantic nod. “I’m not letting you go. I’ll follow you everywhere.”

Almost mirroring their previous position, Donghan hugs Taehyun’s neck while Taehyun, who is now holding the knife instead, just barely presses the tip against Donghan’s abdomen. The younger feels a chill run down his spine at the terrifyingly sharp edge of the knife, the lingering blood dotted onto his skin.

_I’ll never let you go._

He takes in a deep breath. “Do it.”

 

Donghan almost lets out an ear splitting scream when the knife plunges straight into him, the searing pain flares in his stomach as he feels his body tissues getting torn apart. He bites down on Taehyun’s shoulder as well to muffle himself, albeit a lot more harshly, actually breaking through Taehyun’s skin and making him bleed more. Taehyun doesn’t falter despite feeling himself weaken and the mounting agony, unwaveringly holding the knife in Donghan to minimize his movement and limit the younger’s pain. Taehyun’s own pain irrelevant when it comes to Donghan.

The taste of Taehyun’s blood fills his mouth, a familiar metallic tang that pulls his mind away from his own blood pouring out of him. Taehyun runs his free hand through Donghan’s hair, yanking it a little to distract Donghan as he pulls the knife out in one swift movement.

Taehyun throws the knife aside, the bloody thing clattering on the floor and echoing in the silent room. He rushes hold up Donghan, careful not to agitate the fresh bleeding wounds– his and Donghan’s –and lays him gently down onto the bed on what little space it has left. Strained groans of pain leaving Donghan as he gets laid onto his side. Donghan momentarily sees the four members on Taehyun’s bed opposite him, before Taehyun’s face swims into his vision, the elder lying on his side in front of him too. Taedong who is propped at the head of the bed watches over the two.

The two remain like that, gazing at each other’s eyes, not saying anything. They don’t need to, knowing everything about what the other is thinking. There’s nothing left to be said as the bed gets warmer and warmer and their bodies get colder and colder.

With the last of his strength, Taehyun lightly pulls Donghan’s head to his chest, and Donghan instinctively curls up against him, feeling Taehyun protectively wrap his arms around Donghan’s head. Donghan reaches out to hug Taehyun’s waist. He can’t even smell the blood anymore, everything smells like Taehyun now.

At the back of his mind, Donghan recalls how apparently when at the brink of death, a lifetime of memories would filter through someone’s mind, but as Donghan lays in his leader’s secure embrace, the single entity saturating his consciousness is Taehyun and Taehyun alone.

 

“Everything will be fine.” Taehyun whispers, his gentle voice floating down to Donghan’s ears, clear even through the resounding buzz of his mind.

 

“I love you forever Donghannie.”

 

His leader never lies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_I love you forever too Taehyunnie hyung._


End file.
